Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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