accomplished twins. life is a go
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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