All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
