at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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