We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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