dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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