so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
