my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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