i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
