And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My bed smells like the plague
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
