we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
