Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
