You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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