Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
