A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
