How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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