those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
