yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
