there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Randomize
