Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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