We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
