I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
PANTIES FOUND
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