haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
