i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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