So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
