I wanna bring you to show and tell
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
