I'm sorry my penis didn't work
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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