i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
