recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
