i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
