We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
