I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dignity is for republicans.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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