Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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