in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
