i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
