my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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