Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
