Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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