I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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