Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
