I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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