question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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