where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His nipple licking is glorious
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