who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
