you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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