I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
be right there i have to get my cape
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
