First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
