It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
is that a dick in a sweater?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
