I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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