Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
