She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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