Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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