just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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