Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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